Because of Love

I never thought I would need anyone’s help to choose a husband. “I can do this all on my own.” I thought. But life isn’t always that simple. I became a mother at the tender age of 17, I married that baby’s dad a year later. We thought it was love, but we had absolutely no idea what we were doing, and life is hard. Relationships are hard, and our personalities just did not mix. We were divorced just 2.5 years we wed.

I carried on with my life. I was raising my son, working and enjoying dating and friends. That’s when I met my daughters dad. We married 3 months after meeting, had her 9 months after that and were married for 6 years. He was 8 years older than me, and again, we didn’t mesh. It just wasn’t working. When we split up I was not at all surprised to learn he had moved in with his girlfriend, and she wasn’t a new girlfriend either. Go figure. So that’s the moment it happened. I decided I did not want or need a man in my life, I would focus on raising my children and the rest would just be what it was. I bought a house, had a good job in the nursing field ( I did manage to complete nursing school with 2 children at home). I was not in the mood to date, and didn’t want to think of giving my heart to another man. I had a couple of guy friends from church, but they were only that, friends. My good friend Joyce had talked to me about praying to God and asking for a sign. I thought that was not for me. But I kept thinking on it, she had said her pastor had done just this, and he asked the Lord to bring him the woman who was meant to be his wife, and she was to bring him apple pie. What? To his surprise within a year he was on a flight when the woman he’d been chatting with next to him offered him some apple pie. He married her, and they were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. That’s a great story, I was intrigued. After a couple of weeks I decided to ask the Lord to intervene in my crazy life. I gave him control, I told him I would not choose another man, I would rather be alone for the rest of my life. I didn’t make good choices and I was done. So I handed him the reigns and asked him, if he had a man in mind for me that he would come to me with 3 red roses. Who meets a stranger and brings her 3 red roses?

Fast forward to October of 2001, 911 had just happened and I was still reeling from that when a new woman started working at my place of employment. She took a quick liking to me and she often stopped by my office to talk (I was the MDS Coordinator at a Nursing facility). She was nice, but honestly, I didn’t want much to do with her. She had taken the job of a friend of mine whom I was sad to see go, I was bitter. After a couple of weeks, this woman began asking me if I would be interested in meeting a friend of hers. She explained that he was newly divorced, had 2 kids (that he had custody of) and that he could really use a kind face and a friend to talk to. I declined. Every time she asked me for the whole month of October, I declined. After several weeks of her asking, I finally decided to go ahead and meet her friend. I would get her off my back, it was just coffee at a local restaurant. I had a friend prepared to call me 35 minutes after our meeting time (she was also watching my kids) and I had all my plans in place to get out and be home in time to watch ER (if you don’t know that oldy but goody, check it out!). So I drove to the Jim Dandy and waited in my car for what seemed like forever. I was truly just ready to leave and stand them up. I’m an introvert, doing this was so far out of my wheelhouse, and it was a waste of time as far as I was concerned. Then I spotted the truck pulling into the parking lot, too late to run. He had a big 4 wheeler in the back of his truck so I immediately had to start judging, I knew he was from Kentucky so it was immediately “he’s a hillbilly.” Then, when he got out of his truck noticed he was a bit short. I always preferred tall guys, I sized this one up at about 5’9″ and I was right on the money. He turned and the street light caught his bald spot and I had to judge that too. I was ready to flee! Then, as I got out of the car and walked over to greet them, he pulled a vase of flowers out of his truck when he turned around, it was 3 red roses. People. I nearly fell over, I think I swallowed my tongue. I didn’t even know what to say! My co-worker and her husband had ridden with him and she came over to introduce us then we headed inside. Now, this is what happens when you turn something completely over to God, I was so comfortable in the company of this man that all the things I had judged him for, all the preconceived notions I had, they just slipped away. They were gone, and I was home. I slipped my hand in my bag to turn off my phone and we sat there enjoying our conversation for 3 hours. We had our first date the following weekend and we’ve never looked back.

This was early November 2001, we were married June 2002 and we are still here, going strong. Our wedding was held in a little country chapel with our friends and family joining us, it was a small gathering, but perfect for us. Then we had cake and danced the night away in my Granny’s back yard. It was small, quaint and perfect. We have raised our 4 children together. We have survived many circumstances that I know were designed to break us down, but we held on, we held on to each other and the promise that God meant for us to be with one another.

I helped my husband start his business. He has the work ethic that most people only dream of, and I had the smarts to help him bring his dream to life. We have been faithful and loved one another through it all, good times, bad times, poor times and prosperous times. And now, almost 18 years later, we are still keeping on, just as strong as we were when we started, probably stronger. We have 5 grandbabies and another on the way, we are so blessed, we know that this life has been our reward for doing what God called us to do…to love one another, to cling to one another, and to raise our children as best we could. We were there to obey, and it has been a wonderful ride, and I’m ready for the next 40 to come!

I hope you all have a story of love and redemption, and if you don’t I pray you will find the pen and paper and write that story, it is possible!